


Bees and Water Lilies

by tale_to_tell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Author took liberties when it comes to nymphs, Creature Dean Winchester, Flower Nymph Dean, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel is a good brother, Happy Ending, He comes back, Loner Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Nymph Dean Winchester, Nymphs & Dryads, One Shot, Sick Dean Winchester, Sweet, Sweet Dean Winchester, Temporary Character Death, Writer Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tale_to_tell/pseuds/tale_to_tell
Summary: Castiel moves into his cabin on February 20. It's secluded, just as Castiel prefers. He spends a whole month in utter solitude until a man starts appearing. Castiel takes a quick liking to Dean, but there's something odd about him. He never talks about his home or family. He knows very little about common things, but he knows more than enough about flowers. It's endearing and strange and Castiel might be in love with him.After a spring and summer full of fun and adventure, Dean's health takes a decline. Dean assures Castiel that he's fine, and Castiel believes him.After all, why would Dean lie?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 142





	Bees and Water Lilies

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Supernatural
> 
> I also don't know much about nymphs - I kind of made up what Dean can or can't do it's a little inconsistent but it's for the sake of the story

Castiel moves into his cabin on February 20. 

The cabin is in the middle of some Oregon forest, and Castiel wouldn’t be able to get back to the main road without a map. It takes roughly an hour and a half to get from his cabin to the nearest town, which is so small that any minor physical incidents that occur have to be driven another thirty minutes away to a small clinic and any major physical incidents have to be driven or airlifted two hours away. 

It’s perfect.

It’s secluded and quiet, and everything Castiel was hoping for when he bought the place. 

He’s a writer, so some solidarity is implied. He just wanted more of it. Gabe tried to convince him not to be a hermit, nearly begged him to stay in the city, actually. But Castiel was done with people and with society, so this seemed to be the obvious choice.

The first month goes by slowly and quietly, just as Castiel likes it. The first day of the second month, though, starts off much stranger than he expects. 

Castiel begins the day as he always does, with a cup of coffee out on his porch, just as the sun is starting to shine through the trees. It’s still cold and wet at this time of year, but most of the snow is gone. 

Castiel takes a sip of his coffee. 

“Hello!” 

Castiel chokes and hacks, startled by the sound. His eyes stream as he tries to swallow the hot coffee in his mouth. 

“Oh, shit!” 

A strong hand hits Castiel’s back roughly, making him cough some more. Luckily it works to displace the liquid in his throat so that Castiel can take some deep breaths. 

“You okay, man?” 

Castiel blinks to clear his eyes and looks at the person beside him. 

“Who the hell are you?”

The man seems to jerk and step back, expression becoming wary. 

“Name’s Dean.” The man says. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” 

Castiel fixes him with a hard stare. “What are you doing here?”

Dean looks down and shuffles his feet.

“Just walking around.” Dean says, sounding guilty. “I’ve never seen anyone at this cabin before.” 

“I just moved in.” Castiel tells him, against his better judgment. 

“That’s cool.” Dean replies. 

Castiel squints at him. “There aren’t any houses for miles. How far have you come from? Did you walk the whole way?” 

“I like the fresh air.” Dean shrugs. “How long have you been here?” 

Dean’s changing the subject, Castiel thinks, but he doesn’t think it’s important to stay on topic. 

“Just one week.” He answers. 

Dean smiles brightly at him. “So you haven’t experienced winter ‘round here?” 

“No.” Castiel says. “Is it hard?” 

Dean’s smile becomes softer. “You could say that.” 

Castiel stares at him for a moment, then coughs and looks away. 

“You doing anything today?” Dean asks.

“Writing.” Castiel says. 

“That it?” 

“I am a writer.” Castiel tells him. “So, yes.” 

“You’re not going to go outside or anything?” 

“I’d rather not freeze.” Castiel mildly replies. “I do not have many outfits suited for the outdoor environment during this time.” 

“Dude. Where did you come from?” 

“Los Angeles.” Castiel says.

“Is it hot there?” 

Castiel blinks. “Yes, of course. It is in Southern California.” 

Dean just shrugs, like he doesn’t know what Castiel is talking about but he’s willing to go along with what he says. “You should get warmer clothes.” 

“Perhaps.” Castiel says. 

They stare at each other again. 

Dean, Castiel realizes, is a very handsome man. He has features that must be sculptured, tanned skin with splashes of freckles, soft-looking brown-blonde hair, and very bright green eyes. The rest of his body is also rather chiseled, but Castiel pointedly does not look at anything lower than his chin. 

“Would you like some coffee?” Castiel asks to break the silence. 

Dean grins. “Sure.” 

Castiel goes to enter his house, but he pauses. Should he invite Dean in or let him stand outside? 

“Would you like to come in?” 

“Sure.” 

Castiel leads them into the cabin. He keeps his home tidy at all times, so there's no mess to hastily hide in Dean’s presence. His cabin is not exciting in the least. It contains one main room, a bathroom, and a bedroom. The main room has a kitchenette on one side and a sofa and bookshelves along the opposite. There are large windows and a door to the outside along the third wall, so Castiel can look out into the forest. The opposite side has doorways to his bedroom and the bathroom. 

“Make yourself at home.” Castiel offers, moving towards the kitchenette. The pot of coffee is still warm, so Castiel just needs to get another mug for Dean. While Castiel keeps his living space clear and tidy, the sink itself is a different story. He finds that doing the dishes is rather tedious and time consuming, so the dishes tend to pile up until Castiel has no choice but to do them. Consequently, there is only one mug left for Castiel to use, and it’s a favorite from his childhood. It’s a light sky blue with a cute bee character flying next to a pond and flowers on one side. Castiel flushes a bit as he pours the coffee and hands the mug to Dean. The mug is a bit childish and immature, he thinks. 

Dean smiles at him and takes a sip. He hums. 

“Tastes good.” He says. “What’s this called again?” 

Castiel furrows his brow. “Coffee. Have you never had coffee before?” 

“Nope.” Dean answers, popping the ‘p.’

Dean, Castiel decides, is a very odd man. He has never met someone who hasn’t heard of coffee, except for maybe children. 

“I like this mug.” Dean says, eyeing the bee. “That’s my favorite type of flower.” 

“What?” Castiel tilts his head in an attempt to look at the mug. 

Dean points at the flower closest to the bee. 

“What kind of flower is that?” Castiel asks. 

“It’s a water lily.” Dean answers. 

“Why is it your favorite?” 

Dean shrugs, then offers Castiel a secretive sort of smile. “Just is. What’s your favorite type of flower?”

“Uh.” Castiel flounders. “I have never given it much thought.” 

Dean purses his lips. “You’re a writer, right?” 

“Yes.” Castiel says, dipping his head. 

“Do you like symbolism?” 

“Of course.” 

“Flowers have symbols.” Dean says. “Maybe you can pick your favorite flower based on that.” 

“I see. That does sound simple, though I know nothing about flower symbolism.” 

“Well, what values do you like?”

Castiel pauses at that. “I’m not sure. I believe in many values.” 

“Okay.” Dean says, voice thoughtful. “Well, think about your main character, then. What does your favorite character value?” 

“My favorite character is not the main character.” Castiel can’t help but say. 

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Then who is your favorite character?” 

“One of the side characters.” Castiel says.

“And what’s he like?” 

Castiel chews on his lip and looks down, thinking about it. “He’s protective. He cares a lot for the main character, and he wants to make sure that the main character succeeds. He believes in the main character, no matter what.”

Dean is quiet for a moment, face scrunched in concentration. 

“What about sunflowers?” He offers. “They mean unconditional faith and love.” 

“Yes,” Castiel says, “I think that would be fitting.”

“And they’re really gorgeous.” Dean adds. “You should plant some.” 

“Will they grow here?” Cas asks. 

Dean shrugs. “Sure. They’ll die in the winter, but sometimes they’ll leave seeds where they die so more will grow. You can just plant your own every year, too.” 

“When should I plant them?” 

“Later spring.” Dean says. “Couple of months from now. Did you know today is the first day of spring?” 

“I did not. You seem to know a lot about flowers.” Castiel says. 

“Call it an interest of mine.” Dean replies. “Anyways, whoever lived here before you had a really awesome garden, once upon a time, and if you’re interested in starting it up again I would love to help.” 

Castiel finds that to be an odd thing to offer after only knowing one another for ten minutes, but Dean’s enthusiasm seems to be contagious. 

“I would appreciate that.” Castiel says.

Dean grins at him. It’s such a familiar motion already, and for some odd reason it makes butterflies tingle in Castiel’s stomach. 

“Great.” Dean says, still smiling. “Listen, man, I’ve got to go.” 

Castiel doesn't know why he’s disappointed, but he is. “I understand.”

“Thanks for the coffee. Bye, Cas. I’ll see you soon.” Dean moves to the door. 

“Goodbye, Dean.” 

* * * * * 

Dean returns the following day. 

And the day after. 

And the day after that. 

It baffles Castiel that Dean continues to return and seek him out day after day. Castiel can’t imagine how his company might entice Dean in any way, but the man shows up everyday without fail. His visits increase in length, too. The first few times were just a couple of minutes or so, but little by little Dean starts to spend more time with Castiel, until Castiel realizes mid-April that he is used to spending hours at a time with Dean. 

Dean is amazing. 

He’s constantly trying to show Castiel unique experiences. One day he took Castiel out to pick berries. Castiel has no clue how Dean managed to spot each and every berry bush they passed when Castiel could hardly recognize the actual berries amongst the undergrowth, but somehow he did. On another day, Dean brought Castiel fishing with him. Castiel had been fishing before, but Dean insisted on catching the fish with their bare hands. Dean had led Castiel to a river near Castiel’s cabin that Castiel had never seen, then he convinced Castiel to get into the freezing water and try to catch fish. 

It turned out to be incredibly entertaining. Castiel did not catch anything (unsurprising), but it was fun to splash about the water and try to grab the fish. Dean caught multiple fish, and he let all but two go. The two he kept he ended up preparing with a campfire next to the river. It was probably one of the best meals Castiel had had. 

Castiel wonders what there is about Dean that seems to lighten up the world. 

It’s surprising, but writing comes easier to Castiel now. He would have guessed that Dean’s presence would have slowed down the process, but Castiel finds himself writing on for hours without realizing it because he gets so deep into the zone. 

It’s even more surprising (or perhaps unsurprising) that Dean has begun to influence Castiel’s writing. Before, Castiel portrayed his main character as stoic and determined, never taking his eye off of the goal or showing emotion besides frustration and anger. Now though, Castiel has started writing his character with softer sides. Times when he longs for something different in his life, times where he shows affection towards others and joy at small things. 

It’s so odd to Castiel. Dean became a constant so easily in his life. 

“Heya, Cas.” 

Right on time. 

Castiel smiles to himself as he looks up from his book at Dean’s approaching form. 

“Good morning, Dean. How are you today?” Castiel asks.

“Just swell, Cas.” Dean answers. “It’s getting warmer.” 

Dean grins and ducks his head at that. Castiel glances around the surrounding forest. It is getting warmer, and Dean seems to be getting happier with the change of season. He’s filled out a little more (though Castiel hadn’t noticed that Dean was thin until it became apparent that Dean gained some weight and became more muscled). His skin seems tanner now, too, which would make sense with the amount of sun they’ve been getting. 

Castiel wonders, not for the first time, if Dean is homeless. Dean sometimes arrives at dawn and sometimes leaves at dusk. Castiel is almost certain that the nearest cabin is several miles away, so it’s odd to him that Dean would walk so far at such times. But whenever Castiel offers to let Dean stay the night, Dean always laughs it off and says he’ll be fine getting home. 

“I’ve got something planned for us today.” Dean says. “You up for a hike?” 

“I suppose so.” Castiel answers, not mentioning that he was sore for three days after their last hike.

“Great! Let’s go.” 

That’s another intriguing thing about Dean. He always wants to do whatever he has planned right then and there. There is no setting up or getting ready to go. They leave right away. It has taught Castiel to always have a sweater and sneakers handy. 

Dean leads Castiel into the forest. With anyone else, Castiel would be worried that they would get lost. Dean always seems to know where they’re going, though. They go towards the river again, but instead of stopping, Dean walks downstream some ways until the river narrows into a stream and they reach a fallen tree. Castiel finds it a bit stereotypical that the fallen tree reaches from one end of the stream to the other, but he follows Dean across it anyways. 

They keep walking for another mile, at least, until they finally come to a bit of clearing in the woods. There, Dean pauses. He grins at Castiel over his shoulder and gestures. 

It’s a pond. There’s nothing particularly spectacular about it, though it is a pretty-looking pond. Dean crouches down next to the water and begins pointing out the different plants. He pauses when he points out the water lilies. Castiel takes a moment to appreciate them. He’s beginning to understand why they’re Dean’s favorites. 

The water lilies are bright pink amongst the green lily pads. Their petals are pointed and flare out beautifully. 

“They’re gorgeous.” Castiel says. 

Dean looks pleased at that, though Castiel can’t imagine why.

“They’re just starting to bloom.” Dean says. 

“Do they die off in the winter?” 

“Yeah.” Dean answers. “They come back, though, unlike your sunflowers.” 

“Maybe I should dig a pond out by my cabin and plant some water lilies.” Castiel says, only half joking. 

Dean ducks his head at that, eyes bright and kept firmly on the flowers. 

“Thank you for showing me this.” Castiel says. His voice has dropped in reverence for some reason that Castiel can’t begin to explain.

Dean’s cheeks redden and Castiel is absolutely  _ enthralled _ .

They don’t stay long. Dean seems eager to get back to the cabin, which is odd since it was  _ his  _ idea to go to the lake at all, but he’s not complaining. 

“We should start working on your garden.” Dean says. “I was focused on the sunflowers so I didn’t think about what other flowers you might like.” 

“It’s alright.” Castiel says. “Whatever the previous owner had should be enough, and I can plant my sunflowers wherever the flowers that don’t return have died off.” 

“Works for me.” Dean replies. 

* * * * * 

The rest of the spring and early summer is spent with day hikes and gardening. When it starts getting too hot to spend a lot of time wandering outside, Castiel and Dean swim in the river. 

Castiel was far from prepared the first time that he and Dean went swimming, because while he got his swimming boxers, Dean went in completely nude. Dean had had absolutely no shame or care that he was naked, leaving Castiel to desperately try and keep his gaze focused on Dean’s torso and up (and even that was risky because Dean had a  _ very  _ nice body). 

Dean did not take Castiel back to the pond, and Castiel did not ask. He thinks that the pond holds some personal significance for Dean. So, while Castiel feels honored to have such a place shared with him, he resolves himself not to ask about the pond. 

Castiel’s warm, fluttery feelings keep growing, growing, growing. He doesn’t understand it at first. Then Gabriel calls him. 

“Hey, Cassie!” His brother greets. “How goes the farm?”

“I own a cabin.” 

“Tomato potato.” Gabriel says. “Just checking in to see what your plans are for the big ‘ol Fourth of July.” 

Castiel hums. “Well, I haven’t yet talked to Dean about it, but I’ll ask him tomorrow and-”

“Dean?” Gabriel interrupts. “Who the hell is Dean?” 

“Oh.” Castiel stalls for a moment, taken off guard. “Well, he’s my friend, I suppose. We have been spending a lot of time together recently.” 

“Friend, huh?” Gabriel repeats, voice skeptic. “What kind of friendly things do you guys do?”

“We go on walks and garden together. We talk, mostly.” Castiel says. 

“Right. Talk.” 

Castiel frowns. “I do not understand what you are implying.” 

“Just curious in your new little friend is all.” Gabriel replies. “How often do you guys hang out?” 

“Everyday.” Castiel answers. “He left a couple of hours before you called.”

“So, you guys spend your days talking, and you see each other  _ everyday _ , and there’s no one else around?” 

“Yes.” Castiel affirms, because what Gabriel said is accurate. 

“You like him?” 

“Of course I like him.” Castiel replies. “He is my best friend.” 

Gabriel huffs. “You dumb bastard. I mean: do you want to fuck him?” 

“Gabriel!” Castiel exclaims, shocked. 

“What?” 

“That is completely inappropriate!” Castiel says. He’s starting to get upset now that his shock has worn off. 

“C’mon you can tell me.” Gabriel says. “You totally want to plow his bones, huh?” 

“Gabriel, enough.” Castiel growls. 

“Ugh.” Gabriel sighs. “You’re no fun. At least tell me if he’s hot.” 

Castiel doesn’t say anything, but apparently that is rather damning. 

“Ha!” Gabriel laughs. “He’s smoking hot, isn’t he? I bet he has a six pack.” 

Castiel flushes to his ears. “His attractiveness is not all that I focus on.” 

“I know. You’re more of a personality-type guy. Boring.” 

“Dean is far from boring.” Castiel replies, indignant. “This conversation has gotten off-topic. I’m hanging up now.” 

“Wait!” Gabriel cries. 

“What?” 

“So when can I meet him?” 

Castiel hangs up. 

* * * * * 

Gabriel is a monster, unintentional or not. Everytime Castiel looks at Dean, all he can think of is kissing him. Castiel had not thought of a romantic relationship with Dean before, but now he’s thought about it in  _ many  _ different ways. 

The Fourth of July comes and goes without much fanfare. Castiel does not care for fireworks very much, and Dean does not even mention the holiday. 

Dean is odd. 

Castiel adores him. 

What’s disappointing is that Dean does not seem to hold romantic feelings like Castiel does. His smiles are always wide and friendly, not suggestive, and on the rare occasions he and Castiel hug, their embrace is brief. 

Castiel savors what affection he can. He doesn’t think he’ll admit his feelings to Dean, not when it could ruin their friendship. Castiel doesn’t know who Dean is attracted to, anyways. 

* * * * * 

August comes and goes. Castiel spends half his time with Dean and the other half writing. He’s already far further along than he expected, which is great, and the ideas keep on coming. He doesn’t get much sleep, but that’s nothing new. His lack of sleep does seem to concern Dean to a point where Dean decides to teach Castiel to make homemade tea. 

September, too, passes by quickly. Castiel’s garden flourished over the summer, and he knows that soon many of his plants will die or go dormant. It saddens him more than he thought it would.

It’s the beginning of October when Castiel begins to notice that something is off with Dean. 

His friend is quieter, more subdued. His skin is paler than before too, but that may just be because they moved from summer to autumn. Castiel begins to catch Dean staring at him with increasing frequency. It makes him wonder if  _ maybe  _ his feelings aren’t completely unrequited. 

It makes him hope. 

They start spending less time outside and more time together inside. Castiel teaches Dean all types of board and card games that Dean has never heard of before. Castiel never thought he could meet someone with less popular culture knowledge than himself, but Dean seems to prove him wrong. 

The days keep getting shorter, which is upsetting because it means that Dean does not spend as much time with Castiel as he used to. Maybe it’s a good thing for them to get some space from one another, but Castiel hates it. 

When it begins snowing, Dean urges Castiel to go outside with him. Castiel is reluctant at first. He does not care much for being out in the cold, but Dean convinces him. His friend doesn’t wear anything more than the leather jacket that he’s been wearing since the air’s gotten cooler, but he doesn’t seem affected by the chill. 

Dean has Castiel make a snowman and then a snow angel. Castiel doesn’t understand the point, but it makes Dean grin and Castiel would do practically anything to see him smile. 

November comes and goes. Castiel flies to California to spend time with Gabe for Thanksgiving. He invited Dean to come too, but Dean had politely declined. Apparently he hated flying, or traveling very far. 

Gabriel is as insufferable as always. He asks about Dean relentlessly and does not stop teasing Castiel the entire time. Castiel makes a big deal about how annoying Gabriel is, but in reality he doesn’t mind too much. He misses his brother. 

Returning home is filled with anticipation. He gets back late in the evening so he doesn’t see Dean until the following morning. Dean is just as excited to see Castiel as Castiel is to see him. He looks a little worse for wear, which Castiel picks up on right away. He’s lost more weight and his eyes are sunken in. He has a cough too. 

“You’re sick.” Castiel says accusingly. 

Dean ducks his head, looking sheepish. “I always get sick this time of year. It’s nothing to be concerned about.” 

Castiel offers again to let Dean stay with him, but Dean declines. Castiel tries to convince Dean to let him drive him somewhere. Dean refuses. Castiel doesn’t understand why. The only reason that Castiel could come up with is that Dean is embarrassed by his living situation. Castiel just hopes that wherever Dean goes at night, he’s safe. 

They spend time baking and cooking. They put up what little Christmas decorations Castiel has. He considers chopping down a tree, but Dean is adamantly against it for some reason. 

* * * * * 

It is December 20 when everything changes. It’s been ten months since Castiel moved into his cabin. Dean appears in the late morning. He looks even worse, and this is concerning to Castiel. 

“Dean?” Castiel asks. “Are you sure you don’t want to visit a hospital?” 

“I’m sure.” Dean answers, waving his hand. “Come on. These pies won’t bake themselves.” 

They make three pies with three different flavors. Dean stays past sunset, surprisingly. Castiel does not say anything as he lights a fire to warm his cabin as Dean cooks him dinner. 

They eat quietly. Castiel senses that there’s some sort of tension between them, but he can’t decipher what it is. In between coughs, Dean’s twitchy. He fiddles with his sleeves and is constantly running a hand through his hair. It makes Castiel worried. 

“Dean?” He finally says. “What’s wrong?” 

Dean looks up at him, eyes wide. Then he bites his lips and looks down at his hands clenched tightly in his lap. 

“Did you know that tomorrow’s the first day of winter?” 

Castiel blinks. “What?” 

“Tomorrow is the first day of winter.” Dean repeats. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

Dean sighs.

“I have to tell you something.” He says. 

Castiel feels a pit form in his stomach. 

“Yes?” 

Dean bites his lip again and shifts away from Castiel. 

“Dean?” Castiel prompts quietly. The pit is growing and gnashing at his chest. 

“I like you.” Dean says. His voice is so soft it’s barely a whisper. 

Castiel’s heart seems to stop and his blood goes rushing in his ears. He forces himself to swallow. There’s a chance Dean doesn’t mean it in a platonic way.

“I like you too.” Castiel says. 

Dean huffs and shakes his head. “I  _ like- _ like you.” 

Castiel sucks in his breath and lets it out in a burst. 

“Truly?” 

Dean nods. 

“I like-like you too.” 

“Yeah?” Dean asks, his head popping up. 

Castiel can’t fight the manic grin that starts to spread across his face as he smiles. His heart is beating about a thousand times a second and his fingers and toes are going numb but he’s so  _ happy _ . 

“May I kiss you?” Castiel asks. 

Dean nods quickly and leans forward. Castiel meets him halfway. 

Dean’s lips are soft and perfect against his own. It makes Castiel want to take them between his teeth and bite. 

He pulls away. “Will you stay the night? I do not mean for sex, but I love your company and I worry for you when you leave.” 

Dean nods. His eyes are wide and his pupils are blown. 

They end up kissing for the rest of the night. 

It makes Castiel feel giddy and childish but he savors it. 

Dean is hesitant to climb in with Castiel when it is time for bed. He looks unsure, so Castiel pets the empty space on the bed. Dean meets his eyes and slowly slides underneath the covers. He moves around to adjust a bit, then he shuffles closer to Castiel and takes his hand.

“Is this alright?” 

“Yes.” Castiel breathes. “It’s perfect.” 

Dean’s smile lights up the room and he relaxes in the bed. 

Castiel falls asleep with Dean’s body warming his own. 

* * * * * 

It’s December 21 when Castiel wakes up and immediately knows something is wrong. 

The bed is cold beside him, but Castiel knows Dean’s body is pressed up against his own. 

It’s early, too early for the sun, so Castiel reaches for the bedside lamp and switches it on.

Dean is pale. Very pale. 

“Dean?” Castiel asks, reaching to brush his thumb against Dean’s cheek. 

He withdraws immediately when he finds the flesh stiff and cold. Castiel’s breath quickens. 

“Dean?!” 

Castiel moves so he’s hovering above Dean. He takes Dean’s face gently between his hands, but there is no response. 

Breath quickening further, Castiel trails his hands down against Dean’s neck and searches for a pulse. 

He finds nothing. 

Castiel chokes out a gasp. 

_ No! _ He thinks deliriously, heart pounding in his chest as a horrible sense of anxiety churns in his stomach. 

“Dean!” 

Dean is unresponsive. 

Castiel leans back on his heels and stares. 

And stares. 

And stares. 

He thinks (rather absentmindedly) that he’s in shock, because Dean is definitely dead. 

Castiel brings his hand up against his mouth. 

He screams. 

* * * * * 

The next couple of hours pass in a blur. The first thing that Castiel does is hysterically call Gabriel. He doesn't know what he said, or if he even made sense, but suddenly it’s light outside and Gabriel is next to him, shaking his shoulder. 

* * * * * 

Castiel and Gabriel bury Dean in the woods. Castiel hadn’t wanted to call someone to come pick up Dean’s body. He didn’t want Dean to be taken hours away to be buried in some random cemetery. He didn’t want Dean to be cremated either. Gabriel doesn’t protest. 

He helps Castiel dig up an area to bury Dean’s body. He stays after to make Castiel eat and drink water. He’s around for an entire week before he’s forced to leave. A week that Castiel spends laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. 

Gabriel tries to convince Castiel to come with him. It’s obvious that he’s worried. Castiel pushes him off, though, and insists he’ll be okay alone. Gabriel makes him promise to call once a day and Castiel leaves. 

Gabriel leaves on December 28, and Castiel spends the rest of the day crying. 

* * * * * 

Time is weird after that. Castiel loses track of the days. They’re all the same, anyways. He can barely drag himself out of bed to take care of himself. He’s stopped writing completely. He can’t even bear to look at his latest work when he knows it will remind him of Dean. 

There’s no pain, though. Everything is dull and numb. Castiel wakes to the sun in his eyes and thinks that it’s rather grey. The snow looks bleak and despondent. There’s no noise. 

Gabriel arranged for some service to come and deliver Castiel groceries every couple of weeks. He must have paid them a fortune to come all the way out to Castiel’s cabin because it is far from accessible. Castiel appreciates it. He doesn’t tell his brother that most of that food goes in the trash due to Castiel’s lack of an appetite. 

Castiel feels… empty. 

He replays everything back in his head - their every moment and time spent together. 

Castiel wonders why Dean refused to go to the hospital. He wonders how he didn’t realize that Dean was so sick. He wonders why Dean was sick in the first place since a common cold shouldn’t have been able to kill him and he hadn’t been feverish with a flu. 

Castiel blames himself. 

He wakes up every morning wishing he could go back to sleep and pretend everything was still okay. 

He dreams constantly of Dean. Most of the time it revolves around Castiel discovering that Dean was dead. It’s horrific and gruesome at times - so upsetting that half the time Castiel will wake up and be sick over a bucket for the next couple of hours. 

Castiel also dreams that Dean is still alive. They hold hands and Dean laughs and shows him all the plants and animals of the forest.

Those dreams are worse because it only gives Castiel a sick reminder of everything he lost. 

* * * * * 

The months pass by. Gabriel visits as often as he can, but most of the time Castiel is alone in his cabin. 

Everything aches in a deep and soulful way that Castiel knows nothing will be right ever again. Not unless Dean came back, but that is impossible. 

* * * * * 

The anniversary of Castiel’s move into the cabin comes and goes. He couldn’t care less. 

He grows more and more despondent as the date inches nearer to when he first met Dean. He can hardly bring himself to eat or leave his bed. 

Castiel’s riddled with nightmares the night before the anniversary of their meeting. He gets about 2 and ½ hours of sleep total, and in the morning he feels like he can’t move. 

He dozes for most of the morning, but is woken by knocking at his door. Castiel tries to ignore it, but the knocks only grow more insistent. 

With a laborious sigh, Castiel heaves himself out of bed. He walks slowly and unsteadily to the door. He flings it open with hostility. 

“What?” He demands, before he focuses on who is in front of him.

He feels the blood drain from his face. 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean says, grinning softly. 

The world spins and everything goes black. 

* * * * * 

When Castiel wakes he is in bed once again. He feels sick with how realistic his dream had been. 

Castiel moves to get up and immediately feels a gentle pressure on his shoulder. 

“Don’t get up.” Dean’s voice says, halting Castiel in his movements. “You took quite the fall there. Freaked me out.” 

Castiel slowly looks at the Dean that is sitting beside him with eyes full of concern. 

“You,” Castiel says shakily, “are not real.” 

“I am.” Dean says. He sounds sad. 

“I saw your body.” Castiel replies.

“I’m back.” 

“That’s not possible.” Castiel hisses and shoves at Dean’s chest in hopes of banishing the hallucination. His hand hits feebly against a very solid chest. Dean’s hand reaches out to take Castiel’s. 

“Cas,” He says, “I swear to you that I’m real.” 

Castiel swallows. He has tears in his eyes. He won’t be able to move on if this Dean turns out to be fake. 

“Prove it.” He says. 

“I’m a nymph.” Dean answers simply. “An anthousai to be specific, a flower nymph. My flower, the water lily, goes dormant every winter. That’s why my body died. My spirit remained, though, and I was able to return to you now that it’s spring again.” 

Castiel stares at Dean because it’s the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard, but Dean is sitting there and very real. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He croaks. 

Dean’s expression grows heavy with guilt. “I didn’t know how to. It’s been years since I’ve met another human, and this is the first time I’ve developed feelings for one. I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

“So dying and letting me wake up to you in my bed is better?” Castiel asks, his voice high-pitched and a bit hysterical. 

Dean winces. 

“I’m sorry.” He says quietly. “You have every right to be angry with me. I should have been truthful with you before but I was scared. If you never want to see me again, I understand.” 

“What?” Castiel asks, alarmed. “Why wouldn’t I want to see you again?” 

“Because I lied to you, and I’m a nymph.” 

“I can’t live without you.” Castiel says blatantly. “You died and my life ended with you. I just got you back and you want to leave?” 

“You - I,” Dean pauses and squints at him. “Aren’t you angry with me?” 

“I’m furious!” Castiel exclaims as he starts to smile. “But at the moment I’m just so happy to see you again.” 

Dean starts to grin in return. “So you want me to stay?” 

“Of course I want you to stay.” Castiel says. “I love you!”

Dean’s jaw slackens as he stares at Castiel. “You do?” 

“Yes.” Castiel says. He takes Dean’s hand and gives it a deliberate squeeze. 

“I love you too.” 

An overwhelming amount of joy and grief and excitement hit Castiel at once. He sobs and throws his arms around Dean, hugging him close to his chest. 

“I missed you so much.” He cries. 

“I’m never leaving.” Dean swears. “I’ll go dormant every winter, but I’ll never leave you.”

“I can live with that.” 

Castiel pulls back far enough to press a desperate kiss against Dean’s lips. Dean stills for only a second until he’s kissing Castiel back with enthusiasm. 

In the back of his mind, Castiel knows he should call Gabe and tell him about Dean. He should also talk with Dean about how his actions affected Castiel those last few months. 

That all can wait, though. 

For now, Castiel is more than content to kiss the man he loves. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello!!!! I am finished with school for the quarter!!! It is also 4:18am so I will keep this brief - I wrote a lot of this while exhausted so there may be more mistakes in the second half of the fic. I also tried to make it angsty but idk if that worked. I also wrote this as a (very) late celebration because November 30 was my 1 year anniversary since posting a fic, so that was exciting for me! 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed this fic - hopefully the tired ramblings made sense lol
> 
> Also, come have fun on the [Profound Bond Discord server](https://discord.gg/profoundbond) where's there's lots of Destiel shippers (it's canon)
> 
> stay safe and have a nice weekend :D  
> -cap out-


End file.
